dude i'm inner monologue high
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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