that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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