Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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