Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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