break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
