ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
