I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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