the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize