Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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