she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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