farters have to be the big spoon...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize