so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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