Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
