I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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