I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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