I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
