You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
