I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
COCAINE IS GR8
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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