Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Bring me that man meat
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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