i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize