i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
