brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
