Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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