Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize