i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
