It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
