then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your penis caused this!
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