Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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