if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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