It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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