I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
