just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
