New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Bring me that man meat
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
