so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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