Only a mothe r could love this liver
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
