Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
