..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize