those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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