I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
