That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
