forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
