What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize
