Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
