And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
