I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
