so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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