We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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