apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
