So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
