i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
