next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
