I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
