sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
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Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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