how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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