it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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