Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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