Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
