WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door