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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (912): View more from Georgia

  He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.

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