apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.