Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  dude, i look like john mccains neck right now

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  (818): dude, i look like john mccains neck right now http://tfl.nu/y0kt
  Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (1353)
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  (530): View more from California

  69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle

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  (530): 69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle http://tfl.nu/56qq
  Replies (31) Good night (858) Bad night (6657)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.

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  (603): Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila. http://tfl.nu/02xa
  Replies (24) Good night (6965) Bad night (1138)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters

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  (405): I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters http://tfl.nu/onkh
  Replies (20) Good night (1097) Bad night (4078)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you lied. pity sex is amazing.

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  (248): you lied. pity sex is amazing. http://tfl.nu/c61w
  Replies (27) Good night (7054) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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  (303): I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better. http://tfl.nu/9eyu
  Replies (23) Good night (5696) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"

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  (901): I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?" http://tfl.nu/efd9
  Replies (24) Good night (6090) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.

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  (512): Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food. http://tfl.nu/f716
  Replies (19) Good night (1846) Bad night (4159)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics

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  (917): Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics http://tfl.nu/t7mh
  Replies (7) Good night (3230) Bad night (1766)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.

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  (215): I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex. http://tfl.nu/q0wq
  Replies (8) Good night (1180) Bad night (3171)
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  (516): View more from New York

  My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery

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  (516): My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery http://tfl.nu/njc1
  Replies (8) Good night (1554) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle

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  (484): My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs (610): I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle http://tfl.nu/o9xz
  Replies (13) Good night (2848) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...

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  (231): Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night... http://tfl.nu/5nvm
  Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.

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  (847): My fridge door just caught on fire somehow. http://tfl.nu/ond1
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.

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  (843): When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night. http://tfl.nu/5mgh
  Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (252)

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