Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on

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(647): View more from Ontario

Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list

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(815): View more from Illinois

It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.

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(773): View more from Illinois

i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.

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(516): View more from New York

Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS

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(310): View more from California

Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.

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(409): View more from Texas

You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off

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(480): View more from Arizona

It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.

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