Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.